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The Courage-sponsored youth leaders' conference "My Brother's Keeper", held on November 15th and 16th, set a pattern for unity in the Christian community on the issue of homosexuality which Courage founder Fr. John Harvey hopes will be replicated in similar conferences across the country. Fr. Harvey is the founder of Courage, a support group for Catholics struggling with same- sex attractions and Encourage, a group for parents and friends of persons with same-sex attractions. Fr. Harvey organized _My Brothers Keeper' because he has long seen the need for priests, lay educators, counselors and others who work with youth, to be enabled to give moral guidance to those young persons entrusted to their care who may be struggling with homosexual attractions and feelings. All youth need to be provided with pastoral care that is truly in accord with the teaching of the Church.

On November 15 to 16 over 100 people attended the conference which was held at the Cardinal Spellman Retreat Center which is situated in the Bronx and overlooks the Hudson River. Besides priests, religious sisters, and those involved in ministry to teens, the group included Courage and Encourage members, as well as non-Catholics who are interested in the issue. The conference focused on the crucial question: How do we bring the truth about homosexuality to today's youth -- both those who are experiencing gender confusion and those who are confused by popular culture about the question?

The speakers included Dr. Larry Burtoft, an ordained Evangelical minister who teaches a training course at Focus on the Family, Dr. Joseph Nicolosi from the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH), Rev. John Harvey, OSFS, Founder and Director of Courage, Rev. Donald Timone, teacher of Spiritual Theology at Mount St. Mary's College in Newburgh, and Mary Beth Bonacci, founder of Real Love, Inc.

Larry Burtoft pointed out how today's youth breathe in the toxic ideas from the all pervasive culture which surrounds them. In its focus on three particularly dangerous ideas -- relativism, expressive individualism, and neo- paganism -- his talk in many ways paralleled the recent encyclical of John Paul II, Faith and Reason, which dealt extensively with the challenge of relativism and other postmodernist ideologies. He pointed out how youth today routinely confess their relativistic belief in a value free universe where all that exists are facts, preferences and power. The relativist world view has no place for objective truth, good, or beauty against which experiences can be measured; for the relativist there are only things which we dislike and avoid or like and try to get by any means possible. Relativists reject the idea that human beings are made in the image and likeness of God with a specific human nature.

Expressive individualism, according to Burtoft, flows from this loss of awareness of human nature. Instead, the individual is seen as a unique set of intuitions, feelings and perspective, with an inalienable right to express that uniqueness. There are no givens, no goals, not even any biological barriers, no blue print for humanness. The neo-paganism of our toxic culture, can be seen in the deification of pleasure and the idolatry of feelings. Burtoft pointed out how the toxic culture makes it very difficult for teens to understand the Church's teaching about sexuality and human nature and how the Church must confront this culture with the clear message of the gospel.

Dr. Nicolosi spoke from his experience as a therapist who has treated hundreds of men and boys struggling with the homosexual condition. Currently his patients include a man of 73 and a boy of 3. The man wants to understand why he was drawn into homosexuality and the parents of the boy were concerned when their son expressed a desire to cut off his penis. The cases' histories reveal trauma, feelings of not being loved, and of being different. According to Nicolosi, homosexual attractions are symptoms of a unmet need for attention, affection and approval, and associated with a failure in the relationship with the same-sex parent or peers. He stressed that this is not a sexual problem, but a developmental disorder with a sexual symptom. Dr. Nicolosi pointed out that even the most dedicated defenders of homosexuality as normal have never come up with a normal healthy development pattern to explain the condition. From 1920 to 1973 therapists wrote extensively on the subject and felt that the prognosis for prevention and therapy was good, but in 1973 the American Psychiatric Association rejected all the evidence and removed homosexuality as a diagnosis from their list of disorders. Nicolosi sees this removal as a betrayal of the men and women who want and need help. Dr. Nicolosi brought with him the first draft of a comprehensive review of the literature on the pathologies associated with homosexuality which is being prepared by NARTH.

Dr. Nicolosi's analysis of the causes of homosexuality was confirmed by the personal experiences of some of the participants. One of the men shared during a lunchtime conversation how his father had been an avid hunter and how he had longed to join the activity but been forbidden by his mother. Finally at age 11 he went directly to his father and said that he was going to go hunting with him next season. However, before the hunting season began the father sold his gun and equipment and never went hunting again. The man felt his mother had sabotaged his attempt to reach out to his father and to establish his masculine identity and his father had allowed it to happen. This and other experiences led to thirty years of involvement in homosexual activity. He has since experienced a gradual spiritual conversion and has managed to grow beyond homosexual attractions.

Fr. John Harvey, founder and director of Courage, presented the Catholic Church's moral teaching on homosexuality by first calling to mind that the Church relies on sacred scripture, divine oral tradition and natural moral law for Her teachings. Father Harvey explained that, from sacred Scripture and sacred tradition, it is clear that the two purposes of the marital act are the permanent union of man and woman and the procreation and rearing of children. To intentionally exclude one of these purposes is immoral. As homosexual acts do not fulfill either purpose, all such acts are immoral. Fr. Harvey then went on to show the need for a spiritual support system, such as Courage, to help persons with same-sex attractions develop a life of interior chastity and purity of heart.

Fr. Donald Timone spoke about the need for personal growth among family members and friends who are trying to reach out to a loved one who is struggling with homosexuality. When family members and friends themselves work towards personal spiritual and psychological maturity, they can become more effective channels of God's grace to their loved ones. In order to help others grow, we need to grow ourselves. By cultivating a new vital relationship with our loved one, which may not have been there before, we are opening the door for greater communication, understanding and growth. It all begins with making ourselves available to others. Fr. Timone spoke from his own experience of leading Courage and Encourage groups in Manhattan and Newburgh, New York.

Mary Beth Bonacci spoke of how before we can teach teenagers why homosexual relationships are disordered, we have to teach them about the proper order of sexual relationships by educating them in true Christian anthropology and the theology of body. Teenagers, according to Bonacci, need to understand that human beings were made by God because he loved each one of them. They are not to be used as a means to a selfish end. Each person finds himself only through a sincere gift of self. We are not spirits living in bodies, but a unity of body and soul. Our bodies' capacity for physical union reveals a deeper meaning and a deeper complementarity between man and woman. Every abuse of sexuality violates the truth about the human person, most often by lying or using the person as an object. Once teenagers are grounded in the truth about the human person, the inability of same-sex sexual relations to express that truth will become obvious.

Tapes of the talks can be ordered through the Daughters of St. Paul, 617- 522-8911. Courage has also prepared a number of pamphlets which are available for those in ministry to youth. These are available from the Courage office in New York - phone: 212-268-1010, e-mail: NYCourage@aol.com. Those interested in hosting a similar conference in their area can call Courage. More information on Courage can be obtained by visiting their website at http://world.std.com/~courage. Everyone is encouraged to pray for this work, and prayer cards are available: e-mail: heartbeatnews@compuserve.com.

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