March 2003 Newsletter

March 2003 Newsletter

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Director's Corner

- Rev. John Harvey, OSFS

Reflections on Australia Visit

Psychologist Peter Rudegeair and I were invited by eight dioceses of Australia to speak on issues of homosexuality to priests and laity alike. I addressed the dogmatic and moral questions, and Peter sought to impart to our audiences a deeper understanding of the developmental factors which contributed to the beginning of same-sex attractions.

Since Peter Rudegeair could only stay for four days because of his clinical schedule, we went together to the larger dioceses of Sydney, Melbourne, and Perth during his stay. Unfortunately, we were both greeted by ‘gay’ protesters in Sydney and Melbourne during our public presentations. With the help of security guards, we managed quite well. Peter was surprised by the open hostility, but I explained that the ‘gay’ media went out of their way to distort our message by calling it the "Gay Tour for Cure". It was nothing of the sort. Peter and I were proclaiming the message of Courage, namely, the need for interior chastity.

In each place, we gave special time for priests and seminarians with the hope of starting or strengthening a Courage group. In the evening sessions with the laity, we asked them to seek out priests to start not only Courage units but also Encourage groups (as you know, Encourage is for parents and siblings of adult sons and daughters in the ‘gay’ lifestyle. The parents need prayerful guidance.) In most places where Peter and I went, or where I went alone after he left on February 2nd, we received overwhelming support from the Catholic laity. In one small diocese I saw a small group one morning and was asked to come back a second day for another session. In Perth and in Lismore, we spoke to Protestant ministers and laity abut the work of Courage.

In every diocese where Courage was welcomed by the Bishop or the Archbishop, I had an opportunity to discuss plans for future Courage or Encourage groups. In one large diocese where no priest volunteered to begin Courage, I went to the Archbishop with the proposal that two laymen whom I believed were qualified, should be given approval to launch a Courage group. He agreed and appointed the laymen, with the proviso that it was for a "six month period" at which time it would be evaluated. In this archdiocese, there were already people willing to join.

As in America, so in Australia it is difficult to get priests to assume leadership for a Courage unit. In the above mentioned appointment of laymen, it was understood that there are priests willing to help out in terms of spiritual ministries, such as the sacrament of reconciliation, offering up the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, and spiritual direction.

There was, however, another small diocese where all the clergy showed up for our meeting. many of the priests were young and full of enthusiasm. I would be surprised if a Courage wasn’t formed there.

The last diocese I visited was Brisbane, whence came the national Chaplain of Courage, Fr. Gregory Jordan, S.J. It was indeed a memorable visit. i spent time with the leader of the Charismatic Community, Brian Smith, who was seriously ill, and with Brendan Scarce who is in charge of their Courage unit. Then on the very last day of my visit, I faced the ‘gay’ protestors once again.

This time, however, four giant security guards blocked their entrance to the hall. So the protestors began to chant, "Nobody In, Nobody Out." Down the pathway were at least 50 people who would not get in, unless the protestors were scattered. Finally, the police came a few minutes after the scheduled time, and the rest of the faithful laity were able to come in. All told, there were about 75 people present, and we had a very good meeting. Three of the protestors were allowed in, on condition they would ask only one question and recieve an answer. It worked out well.

The question was raised: Do you think you accomplished your mission in going to Australia? Both Peter and I answer in the affirmative. All we wanted to do was to plant the seeds of Faith and to allow God to accomplish what He desired in the hearts of the faithful. I think the fact that there were ‘gay’ protestors in three large cities indicates that the message of chastity of the heart was heard, but not always accepted. Our thanks to Fr. Gregory Jordan, and Lynn Ryan and all who helped them to organize such an adventure. Thanks to all the bishops who supported the endeavour. And here in the New York office, thanks to Tina who helped Lynn, as well as Peter Rudegeair and me.

Australia will never be the same again!

MARY COMES HOME

My journey back home to the love and mercy of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and the Catholic Church has been a long one. In June of 2002, I joined the Philadelphia, PA Chapter of Courage. I turned away from the "gay" lifestyle after 30+ years. I had been living a chaste life for four years prior to joining Courage, but that had more to do with my dating status than a conscious moral choice to embrace chastity and turn away from sin.

When I discovered the gay community in my 20’s, I thought I was home. I also dated a number of men until I was 30, trying to force my self to be heterosexual. I had about 15 different homosexual relationships and flings over the years with single lesbians, affairs with lesbians who were in relationships, divorced women who were exploring the gay lifestyle. Thankfully, no married women. I led enough women into sin without breaking up a marriage. What I thought was fun, fun, fun was nothing but sin, sin and more sin.

I kept searching, but for what I wasn’t sure. I put my Catholic faith and my conscience on the shelf so I could continue to live the gay lifestyle and not feel guilty. The problem was, I did feel guilty and in my heart, I always knew it was wrong. I put any religious statues or pictures I had in my home in drawers, so I wouldn’t be reminded that what I was doing was morally wrong and a mortal sin. I kept looking for love in all the wrong places.

I was miserable most of the time in my relationships. They were beyond dysfunctional. I found that one major sin led to another. To be an official "card carrying lesbian", I had to also be a feminist (at least that seemed to be the rule) and get into all of the warm and fuzzy "New Age" movement and politically correct activities. I marched on Washington for the ERA and through the streets of Philadelphia for "Gay Pride Day". I supported contraception and safe sex. Fortunately, I never supported abortion, however, I was too weak to resist the crowd and condemn it. I have begged Jesus to forgive me for my sins, my immorality, my pride and my arrogance.

My turning point to the road back home to Jesus Christ and the Catholic Church occurred in 1996 when I injured my back and had a herniated disk. I could no longer play softball, tennis, racquetball and gave up golf after only one lesson. I became isolated at home and guess what I learned? My gay friends made themselves scarce. If I couldn’t be a player, I guess I wasn’t as appealing. In my loneliness, I came to the realization that my suffering was a gift from God. It was His way of saying, "Mary, I’ve been trying to get your attention and you won’t slow down long enough to listen". "If any one wishes to follow me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me". Luke 9:23. The quiet voice that had been gnawing at my soul was now being heard by me. I began to pray and attend Mass intermittently, but I still wasn’t totally ready to leave the lifestyle.

After my back improved with various treatments, I decided to re-enter the lifestyle. I tried meeting lesbians with Christian values, now how’s that for an oxymoron? I actually went on a date with a lesbian protestant minister and we had an in-depth conversation about homosexuality with me using all of the biblical supports against the lifestyle. The conversation ended with her telling me that she thought I was really looking for someone to talk me out of the lifestyle, not a "Christian" who could make me feel that it was a morally acceptable practice. I walked away and spent much time thinking about that last statement. She left very upset and feeling confused, which in hindsight was a good thing if it meant she was questioning the lifestyle.

After this encounter, I stopped going on the Internet searching the gay dating sites. Several weeks went by and one night I woke up about 3:00 AM (not unusual for me) and I was feeling sad, lonely and confused. I went to my computer and said to myself, "I know there is a group sanctioned by the Catholic Church for people who are struggling with same sex attractions". I couldn’t remember the name, but I just kept doing keyword searches until I found "Courage". It took me another three weeks before I called. I had to be ready to attend a meeting because I was planning on making my first confession in thirty years (that’s a lot of sin to remember and calculate!).

I attended my first meeting in June 2002. I was, and am still the only female member of the Philadelphia chapter. The first meeting was emotional for me. When it came time to offer our prayer petitions, I started to cry when I said that I was so very grateful to God for His mercy in not plucking me off the face of the earth while I was in a state of mortal sin. The guys in the group didn’t know how to respond to me. It was almost comical. I was sitting there trying to hide my tears and thinking to myself, "anybody want to give me a hug or say something to me, please do". That didn’t happen. I actually laughed out loud to myself when I thought about it on the ride home after that first meeting. I’m a great believer in keeping a positive attitude and a good healthy sense of humor. The following week some of the guys felt comfortable enough to give me a hug.

I can’t describe the relief I felt after going to confession and all of the graces that the Holy Spirit poured into my heart and soul that day. I continue to attend the Courage meetings and go out to lunch with the guys after the meeting. We also get together for social events. It’s been a real blessing for me to be with the group. The guys have helped me to re-learn my Catholic faith and how to have a fuller spiritual life that includes much prayer, the rosary, reading of the Bible, adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, spiritual reading and attendance at Mass every Sunday and Holy Days.

In October 2002, I attended my first Courage Women’s Retreat. I recommend that all new women of Courage try to attend the annual women’s retreat. The commitment of the women to love and worship Jesus Christ and live chaste lives is a great source of inspiration. The opportunity to pray and worship together along with shared meals, walks, talks and laughs is reaffirming.

Please keep me in your prayers and let’s keep supporting each other as we work to live out chaste Christian lives that offer glory and praise to Jesus Christ, our merciful Lord and Savior. Hallelujah!

BULLETIN BOARD

Getting Ready for Courage Conference 2003!

The 15th Annual Courage Conference will be held on August 7th - 10th at the University of St. Thomas, in St. Paul, MN. Speakers will include Fr. John Harvey, OSFS, Fr. Benedict Groeschel, CFR, Christopher West, and Dale O’Leary. There will also be daily Mass, a variety of workshops, Eucharistic Adoration, opportunities for confession, prayer meetings, and our Saturday night social.

Please start planning now to attend the annual conference! Registration forms will be mailed out in April. If you have a proposal for a workshop which you are willing to lead, please let the main office know before the end of April, and Fr. Harvey will review and consider your proposal!

SportsCamp 2003 - Get Ready, Guys!

The 4th Annual Courage men’s sports camp will be held on April 24th -27th, 2003. You can enjoy three days of team sports, training, prayer and fellowship at beautiful facilities, conveniently located near rail transit in the Princeton, NJ area. The cost is $225 (which includes food and overnight accommodation). Make cheques payable to C-MAC and mail them to the Courage Office. The deadline for registration is April 15th. For more information, please visit the courage website at CourageRC.net OR Courage RC.org.

Fr. Harvey and Angelo on EWTN!

On Thursday, February 20th, Fr. Harvey and Courage member Angelo appeared on "Life on the Rock". This was followed by another airing of "Portraits of Courage". The shows generated much interest in this ministry, and the Courage office received a flood of e-mails and phone calls from people wanting more information. Many orders were also placed for the Courage video.

Thank you, Fr. Harvey and Angelo for doing such a great job on the show, and thanks, EWTN, for the much needed publicity!

Steve C. from Boston joins the Courage Board of Advisors!

At the last Courage Board of Advisors’ Meeting. Steve C., a Courage member from Boston, was elected to join the Courage Board of Advisors. Steve C. has been a faithful member and supporter of Courage for years and has always been a very active promoter of this ministry. We know that Steve will assist the Board in serving the ministry of Courage with dedication and commitment!

Conference Workshop Follow-Up - Developing Eucharistic Peace...

At last year’s conference, Bob D. led a workshop on Developing Eucharistic Peace. Bob has written a follow-up article for those who attended that work-shop and the article is currently posted on the Courage website (CourageRC.org or CourageRC.net) , on the front page, under the heading "Currents".

On-Line Credit Card Donations Now Accepted!

It is now possible to make a credit card donation towards Courage through our website! When you visit the site at CourageRC.org or CourageRC.net, just scroll down the front page till you see the "Network for Good" logo. Click on that and you’ll receive step-by-step instructions for making a donation to Courage. Please consider making a gift to Courage to aid in the outreach of this ministry. Your money will be put to good use! A special thank-you to those who have already made donations through the site!

Courage Women’s Annual Retreat!

This year’s Courage Women’s Retreat will be held from the evening of October 23rd to the afternoon of October 26th. We’ve added an extra night to make the retreat even more worthwhile for those who will be travelling a long distance to attend! The retreat will be held at a retreat house in Bethlehem, PA.. If you’re interested in attending, please contact the Courage Office at (212) 268-1010 and we will send you a registration form. Please plan to attend, Courage ladies. It will be an enjoyable time of prayer, laughter, and good fellowship!

Order the Courage Video & Spread the Word!

Our 2 part video "Portraits of Courage" is a big hit! The video set consists of two 27 minute videos: Part 1: Into the Light, and Part 2: The Cry of the Faithful. The two video set costs $29.95 and the shipping and handling charge is $6. Please call 1-866-BE-CHASTE or 1-866-232-4278 to order the video by credit card. You can also order the video by sending a cheque or money order in U.S. funds, payable to Courage, to: Courage Video Ordering, 4340 E. Indian School Rd., Suite 21-209, Phoenix, AZ 85018 U.S.A.